Shouting at windmills

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Sometimes

You know sometimes, I think, you couldn’t make this up if you tried…..

Everyone at work receives their payslips and P60’s electronically. It a money saving scheme introduced by the company years ago. It doesn’t bother me, I get most things electronically nowadays, to ‘do my environmental’ bit, and to stop my room becoming a mouse’s dream apartment.

So all I did for my mortgage application, was to give my financial advisor direct printouts of my payslips. It turns out that these were apparently not good enough for the bank, who asked for originals.

Fortunately for me, as a shift worker who is often no where near a computer to access their payslips around payday, I receive paper copies through the post. So I gathered up the paper copies the same afternoon, and sent them first class to the FA.

This was on Friday last week. Six Days Ago.

This morning I received a call from the FA’s office asking me for my payslips. “I sent them last week,” I replied. To which I was told “Ah, well, maybe they’ll be in today’s post. I’ll call you back,”

Ten minutes later the post arrived at home with a letter addressed to me from the FA’s office. Inside were my payslips, ‘Returned with thanks,’ and post marked two days ago.

I called my FA. I wanted to know what was going on because as you know the waiting for a mortgage decision is driving me insane.

While I was on the phone, another call came in and went to voicemail, which was probably a good idea because after listening to the message I think I would have just lost my temper had the person calling me been on the phone.

The message went something like this…

“Hi, It’s so and so from the FA’s office. We’ve received your payslips in the post this morning. I’ve copied them and faxed them to the bank this afternoon. You should have a decision by Wednesday”

I have screamed and raged, this afternoon. I can’t believe the audacity of the person on the other end of the phone to lie like that. Still I have her name, and will be saving the message. When this is all over, I shall be making a complaint to the FA.

It’s just wrong, and in the meantime, instead of sending my stuff to the bank on Monday so I could have had a decision this week, I now have to wait almost another full week to find out what is going on.

Posted by Me | May 3, 2012 | Categories: Blogging, Ranting | Leave A Comment »

Up and down more times than a see-saw

So I’ve been quiet for a month. I’ve been busy, I’ve been going crazy, and it hasn’t stopped yet.

As you already know there were some real, up and down times at the end of last month, as I fought with the bank to get my credit cards turned into a loan so that I could apply for a mortgage.

April continued in much the same vein. If I’d blogged all the ups and downs I think I’d have been on here everyday going ‘yes, it’s on!’, ‘damn, it’s off!’, ‘I can’t deal with this,’ and ‘arrrrggghh’.

So I’ve sat on it all, written it in a notebook, driven myself insane, and am still doing so, but all to avoid driving everyone else insane with incessant postage.

I was UP, when I finally got the bank to agree that they would switch my cards into a loan, and so I could maybe start looking at houses.

I was UP, when we thought we found a flat we could afford.

I was DOWN, when I got told I couldn’t afford that one.

I was UP, when I thought we’d found a different flat we could afford.

I was a little DOWN when the website said there was only one left.

I was UP when it turned out there were several left, plus two coach houses.

I was DOWN because the coach house I wanted over the flat was too small.

I was UP, when the flat turned out to be huge and in my price range.

I was DOWN when Boo’s grandmother passed away on Easter Sunday.

I was DOWN, when there was a problem with my car which I was worried about. Turns out I was right to be to, as there was apparently only one bolt actually holding one of my wheels on.

I was UP, when my financial advisor told me I had been offered a mortgage in principle for the flat that I wanted.

I was DOWN, when I got told I couldn’t place the deposit for the flat without a certain piece of paper that would take four working days to get, and they would only hold the flat for two.

I was UP, when miraculously the form I needed turned up the very next day, so I could get the flat I wanted.

I was DOWN, when the numbers on the form didn’t match up to what I needed.

I was UP, when the financial advisor told me not to worry, so I went arranged to place the deposit on my flat.

I was UP, when I placed the deposit. On Friday 13th!

I managed to stay up, for a few days while I waited the entire week required before I could meet with my Financial Advisor to arrange the mortgage.

I was DOWN, as we attended Boo’s grandmothers funeral.

I was UP, when after meeting with him he said he was confident I would get the mortgage and he would apply for it on my behalf the following day, and it would take approximately ten days to get to the mortgage offer.

I managed to stay up for another few days, until the financial advisor called to say that the bank didn’t like my electronic payslips, could I provide originals. I sent these the same day.

I was UP, while I spent the weekend at my parents where Boo and I went through all of the stuff that they had in storage for me, and where my Mum and Dad, purchased for us as gift everything we would need for the kitchen.

It’s been seven working days now since I put in the mortgage application, and my doubts and paranoia are kicking in, in a big way.

I’m supposed to exchange contracts in 13 days time and I still don’t know if I’ve been accepted for the mortgage. I’ve purchased things for the house, and I’ve talked about it with friends and family getting more and more excited about the impending move, and I’m terrified that I’ve jinxed it all.

I am incessantly checking my e-mail for news. I can’t stop myself. I’m waiting for it all to fall through. I am stopping myself from getting excited because I’ve been here too many times before, and if I let myself look forward to it I don’t think I’ll be able to cope if the news is bad, but I’m really tired of all that now.

I want an answer. I NEED, and answer. I want to know if I can get excited and start planning for my new life, or if I am going to have to get drunk and feel sorry for myself for a few months, before picking myself up and starting all over again, for the umpteenth time.

Posted by Me | May 1, 2012 | Categories: Blogging | Tags: about me, catching up, emptying my head, just saying, updates | Leave A Comment »

I wasn’t expecting that

I spent another two and a half hours in the bank this afternoon.

I had to go through the appeals process against the decision to not change my cards into a loan. I had a less than 10% chance of changing the decision. I knew I had to take it to keep my dreams alive.

There was a forty five minute dog fight of a phone call between my bank manager and the referrals team. There was a lot of tense waiting and tweeting from me as I sat alone waiting for her to come back.

But.

I got it.

It cost me a little money, but I got it. Time to now move forward. Time to battle the next hurdle and hope it isn’t as hard. Time to see if I can get a mortgage.

Posted by Me | March 30, 2012 | Categories: Blogging | 1 Comment »

A bastard with a torch

Sometimes I wonder if I am psychic, and sometimes I wonder if I’m just doomed to only ever receiving bad news.

As it turns out my glimmer of hope really was just some bastard with a torch.

My attempts to move my debt from my credit cards to a loan have failed. After spending two hours in the bank today, have failed. My bank are currently saying ‘ha ha you can afford these expensive debts, so we’re not going to help you’.

Apparently it is more risky for my bank to give me a loan than it is to let me loose with the two credit cards I already have with them.

Unless of course I tell them I’m in financial difficulty when they are full, and then they’ll fall over backwards to help me. I’m taking preventative steps to stop that from happening and they don’t want me too. They would rather I got into trouble than actually stop me from getting into trouble in the first place.

So my dream of a house of my own is gone. I shall now have to line the pockets of someone else in order to have a place of my own.

With that goes my dream of having children too as I slog my guts out, scrimp and scrape to pay off my expensive debt with the tiny amount of spare cash I will have left over from paying my bills.

Damn that bastarding torch holder!

Posted by Me | March 28, 2012 | Categories: Blogging | Leave A Comment »

A glimmer of hope

I finally bit the bullet this morning.

I did the one thing I’ve been saying I’ll do for the last eighteen months.

I went and saw a financial advisor.

Now I wish I’d done it sooner. After being really down, thinking that I’d never be able to buy a place of my own there is a glimmer of hope. There is the possibility of a realistic mortgage offer.

I am feeling really positive, but still keeping all of my fingers and toes crossed for a good outcome. I want to get excited, but I’m trying to stay grounded, as I’m a bit too used to disappointment, so I am currently reminding myself that sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel is really just some bastard with a torch.

Posted by Me | March 27, 2012 | Categories: Blogging | Leave A Comment »

Lost and found, the power of a good sleep

I slept like a log last night. The deepest soundest sleep I have had in weeks. Not disturbed by the temperature of my room, by the fitful sleep of my partner, by the stomping on the bed or loud yowling of the cat, and not, by the tickle hacking cough I have had for the last few weeks.

I have been in the doldrums of late. I have avoided blogging, I have avoided twitter and I have avoided Facebook as much as possible to try and stop myself ranting my usual miserableness and embracing the dark.

I have felt totally lost, almost flinging myself into work, and doing everything I can to stop myself from walking further down a path that is taking me away from what I want. The over work, the lack of sleep, the stress of knowing where I was going and trying to steer myself away from it all took their inevitable toll.

Until I slept.

I woke this morning with new eyes. I have new feelings of positivity. I’ve realised that in the midst of all of this, the level of real communication that goes on between me and my partner has improved rather a lot. We’re talking more about the stuff that matters and recognising when we’re behaving badly (on both sides).

I have also realised that I’m on the verge of repeating past errors, which I’m going to stop right now. I’m choosing to walk down a different street.

I’ve lost my worries, and found my stride. I’m so glad I slept last night.

Posted by Me | March 23, 2012 | Categories: Blogging | Tags: emptying my head, feeling better, just saying | Leave A Comment »

Definition(s) of the day – courtesy of @PaulMagrs

Remember how last month I was saying that it’s a rarity now for me to discover new words, when I was reading? Well it seems Paul Magrs was out to prove me wrong, and increase my vocabulary further.

I sat one day, for a whole day and read all bar the last 50 or so pages of his latest volume 666 Charing Cross Road. I was mesmerised for the whole time and couldn’t put the book down. The story was perfectly paced, with an ideal balance of menace and humour, that comes from a story about Vampires being ‘re-born’ across New York City. I would have, in fact, finished it in one go, if it wasn’t for two things. Firstly I had been awake for 17 straight hours, and couldn’t keep my eyes open. I only needed another half hour or so but I had spent my spare 30 minutes on the second reason, writing down all the new words for me to learn.

So here, because you all know how I like to share, is what I learnt…

As a lady of a certain age I could take it as a personal insult – this decluttering and despoliation of the detritus.

de·spo·li·a·tion [dih-spoh-lee-ey-shuhn]
noun,
1. the act of plundering.
2. the fact or circumstance of being plundered.

They were going to Shelley’s work to see her much-vaunted exhibit.

vaunt·ed [vawn-tid]
adjective
praised boastfully or excessively

Jack tried to explain. It was though to be some kind of sacrificial object, perhaps as much as two hundred years old. Something the scots might have intended to burn on a ritualistic pre as a king of propitiation thing.

pro·pi·ti·a·tion [pruh-pish-ee-ey-shuhn]
noun
1. the act of propitiating; conciliation
2. something that propitiates
pro·pi·ti·ate [pruh-pish-ee-eyt]
Verb
to make favourably inclined, appease, conciliate.

But Liza stayed there, ineluctably drawn to staring straight back into those dark shrouded eyes.

in·e·luc·ta·ble [ub-i-luhk-tuh-buhl]
adjective
incapable of being evaded; inescapable
related forms:- in·e·luc·ta·bil·i·ty, noun in·e·luc·ta·bly, adverb

Liza had taken note of Shelley’s incredulous stare “someone has to be pragmatic about this sweetheart, it’s no good having conniptions“

con·nip·tion [kuh-nip-shuhn]
noun

Often, conniptions. Informal, a fit of hysterical excitement or anger

“Just drive.” Bessie told him stertorously, tapping her twiggy fingers on the glass partition rather menacingly

ster·to·rous [stur-ter-uhs]
adjective

1. characterised by stertor or heavy snoring.
2. breathing in this manner

Related forms:- ster·to·rous·ly, adverb ster·to·rous·ness, noun

ster·tor [stur-ter]
noun Pathology
a heavy snoring sound accompanying respiration

Posted by Me | March 11, 2012 | Categories: Blogging | Tags: books, definitions, fun, learning, reading | Leave A Comment »

Yesterday reminded me to be thankful

I wasn’t having the best of days.

The cold I had been suffering from for days had spread to my chest, and into my ears.

I’d taken my car to the garage to be serviced and the original £155 cost was slowly increasing as the day passed by. Initially by £80 for filters which were not apparently not included in my original quote but needed to be replaced. Then again by £210 for the two rear tyres I would need almost immediately as mine were just 1mm of tread away from the legal limit. Then finally by a further £310 (thankfully I’m getting them done somewhere else for a lot less) for the new brake discs and pads that my compact 1.5 diesel car (with what would appear to be expectations of being something far more sporty) apparently needs ‘like yesterday’.

My one day off in ten days was not spent relaxing as I had planned. Instead it was spent feeling dog rough, and running round like a blue arsed fly trying to arrange getting everything changed at the cheapest possible price, and ranting about it all down the phone a boyfriend who patiently listened, and kept quiet. I was far from a happy bunny.

Then, while I was sat with a drink trying to chill out and relax, I saw a tweeted response come through as a message on my phone.

Curious as to the conversation I dived into twitter to retrieve the chat, and got my day put into perspective in a big way.

Someone had lost a parent that morning. Suddenly and unexpectedly. My eyes watered and I said a little prayer, then sent a message with my thoughts.

As for me, yes, I had bills to pay, but at least I had the money to pay them. I have a roof over my head, a loving partner and two very much alive and annoying the hell out of me parents. Not everyone else is so lucky.

So I shut up my whining, and got on with my day. Sometimes all you need is perspective.

Posted by Me | March 9, 2012 | Categories: Blogging | Tags: about me. lessons, cars, life lessons, perspective, realisations, reminders, shut up, travel, twitter | Leave A Comment »

I’ve just broken my record

for reading a James Patterson book.

Realising this afternoon that my unread copy of Private London by James Patterson & Mark Pearson was due back at the library tomorrow I tried to renew it online. I couldn’t. When a book is reserved y someone else you can’t, so I thought I need to read this.

Which was a pain as I was currently well into a different book. I was prepared to suffer the whopping 20p fine for returning it a few days late, but since I’ve had the book for three weeks already and I’ve been off wok for two of those, donut wasn’t like I hadn’t had the opportunity to read it already.

So I decided to put down my current book and start this one, after all Patterson books generally tend to average a six hour read, and a few hours relaxing reading is always good when you’re lying in bed with a stinking cold, sneezing your head off and dosing yourself with rosé.

Now, four and a half hours after I first picked it up I’ve just put it down finished, oh and if you think that’s quick you may want to note that I also took half an hour out of that time to eat some food.

Four hours. 357 pages. One book down, yes a new record for me.

Posted by Me | March 4, 2012 | Categories: Blogging | Tags: books, fun reading, just saying, records | 1 Comment »

February Books

I was doing really well this month, and was really proud of myself with ten books read by the 20th of the month, sadly things went awry when I finished word for seventeen days and decided that I was going to cram them full of things to do instead of just, sleeping, drinking and pretty much doing nothing all of my way through them all, so nine days later I had only finished another two books.

I don’t care though, I’ve been out doing some amazing things. I will be copying posts across blogs to avoid having to write them a dozen times over, so keep your eyes peeled for my ‘I’ve been out and about actually doing stuff’ posts.

In the meantime, here’s the twelve books I did get through.

Now You See Her by James Patterson & Michael Ledwidge

The Redbreast by Jo Nesbo

Sizzling Sixteen by Janet Evanovich

Mr Briggs Hat by Kate Colquhoun

Blood at The Bookies by Simon Brett

Swimsuit by James Patterson & Maxine Paetro

In The Woods by Tana French

Don’t Blink by James Patterson & Howard Roughan

Shelter by Harlan Coben

666 Charing Cross Road by Paul Magrs

Silence of the Grave by Arnaldur Indridason